10 Relationship Tools for Those with an Anxious Attachment Style

1: Own your needs and speak up when they are not being met. The right partner will happily give you what you need.

2: Watch the unconscious desire to date avoidant, unhealthy, or unreliable people. You deserve a healthy, stable, and secure partner.

3: There are many potential partners that are suitable for you. Don’t buy into the false notion that this is the only person for you.

4: A relationship with a healthy partner may feel relatively mundane at first. Give it some time for the intimacy and connection to development. That quick “spark” you’re looking for may actually be an unhealthy desire to have your attachment system activated.

5: Have a flexible view of relationships. Focus less on finding a partner based on age or looks, and instead focus on their emotional availability and how they treat you.

6: Be yourself 100%. The right person will unconditionally love and accept you exactly as you are.

7: Your happiness does not rely on another person. If you find yourself feeling empty or unfulfilled, explore your internal world and heal it from within.

8: Take responsibility for any “protest behavior.” If you’re feeling anxious, make sure you are not pulling away or distancing yourself from your partner as a way to get back at your partner or punish them.

9: Let go of calculations such as “I already called, now it’s their turn.” Reach out to your partner freely when you’re excited to connect with them.

10: Create a “Love Chest.” A running list of warm and loving things your partner has said to you during the relationship. Read and re-read your love chest whenever feeling anxious.

Additional Video

This video gives an overview of the three main Attachment Styles:

Additional Listening

Listen to my Podcast Episode where I discuss these 10 tools in more detail:

Click Below to Play: